Your Best Valentine Is You

This Valentine’s Day, celebrate yourself and the things that you like to do. 

I can guarantee you one thing. When you read this, you will fall asleep at night with a smile on your face.

These days, admittedly, Valentine's Day is hyped up into something that is a little unrealistic. It is mostly associated with romantic love. And now, the marketers and advertisers are including other relationships into the fold, just so they are able to reach a larger target group for whatever it is that they are trying to sell.

But what if we were to remove the symbolism from it all and just talk about the concept of love? In its abstraction as much as in its manifestation -- the glow of emotion that one experiences when one feels love.

All of us --- never mind if our lives have been good, fulfilling, miserable, happy, ordinary, enthralling or any other adjective we choose to add -- have at least one moment in our lives that brings that beautiful smile to our faces. That could be a memory of something that happened or something that is present.

Let's think about what those moments are, shall we? For many, it may be the time they became a parent. For some, it may be the time that the person they had a crush on made it apparent that they reciprocate the sentiment. It could be the moment you discovered what you want to do with your life. Your victory in a running race at school. Your first car. The sunrise at the beach when you see the fishermen set off in their boats. The walk in the hills where you are surrounded by  sublime nature.

Your spouse, your partner, your parents, your siblings, your children - your family. No one is more special than them. They are people whom you bond with the most even without being aware of it, perhaps. They are your safety cushion. The relationship may not always be smooth. In fact, more often than not, it is quite to the contrary. But they are the people who will always accept and eventually will forgive you. If you feel that you do not have a family like that, maybe you can reach out to them now and you may just be in for a wonderful surprise! If you don't get the kind of response that you may have wanted or expected, take comfort in the fact that you took the high road and at least tried. 

If your family is not 'there' for you (and in fact, even if it is) you have your friends. Let's talk about friendship, shall we? The best friend in school whom you always shared your lunch with. The friends from college who know you better than anyone else - with whom you spent some of the best years of your life. People whom you have befriended in your 40s & 50s or even later - your counsellors, mentors and guides. The best are friends who have been there forever in your life. The kind whom you don't see for a few years but when you meet them it's like you have never been out of touch. It’s really worth it to meet them today. If that is not possible, at least chat with them.

I think it is true that if you love your work, you will  enjoy it. When you  love what you do, many factors that could have been onerous, just fade away. 

Am I paid right? 

Did I get promoted fast enough? 

How much more successful than me are my peers? 

I am not saying these questions don't come up in your mind ; they do, but don't overwhelm you. Maybe all of us are not lucky enough to work with something we love. So do you want to at least try liking what you do? I just spent 90 minutes this morning, removing password encryption from 122 PowerPoint presentations. I actually have a great job. My team members have quit and even the most mundane tasks are now mine to do. I whined for a bit and then said to myself, 'You gotta do what you gotta do. So stop whining and think of the moment when the task is done'. It was not too bad after that.

I really enjoy walking my dog and sitting with him in the garden and enjoying the peace; the joy of just 'being'. If you are a pet person, you will understand what I am talking about. They don’t call it unconditional love for nothing. With a pet, you are never alone. They give you something that no one else does. The relationship is truly special; it's something you experience and cannot really describe.

Now, more than ever, I understand the value of doing something I enjoy, for at least a few minutes daily. This realisation is the positive outcome of the dreaded times we live in. I have started reading again. Something that I have always enjoyed. I have also started writing a bit. It's cathartic. I really enjoy chatting with family and friends, something I was not doing regularly enough earlier. I do one crossword every day. I started playing Wordle five days ago and today, for the first time, I nailed it in the second guess - a real thrill!  

So this February 14th, just go ahead and indulge yourself for an hour at least - watch that movie on Netflix, go for that run, cook, pig out, sing, dance, meditate, practise gratitude, do yoga, play with your children and grandchildren, meet friends and family. Do something that will bring that smile to your face. There are always things that bring you down. But, whether you are single, attached, parent, or not, with a loving family, or without, with friends or none, the heart and soul of the party or a shy person, there is enough that you can do to feel good about life. Just find that sweet spot and celebrate. For just yourself. 

Happy Valentine's Day!